The Car

My driving skills** rival that of a race car driver, crashing into a wall, without a signal. It’s a well known fact that I drive like crap. If you’re in my car, deal with it. For the love of God, I don’t want to hear about how I’m endangering your life. Please, you have feet, use them.

I’ve had the car keys since we arrived. This means that I’ve been “the chauffer” for the boys. Yesterday was Rod’s turn to sit in the front seat. He wasn’t a very helpful copilot.

So far, I’ve been accused of running two stop signs and turning the wrong way on a one way street. I’ve driven across Highway 1 straddling two lanes. And then, there was that whole “incident” driving to the beach.

In my own defense, I never saw the stop signs, it was only the wrong way b/c all the other people were driving the opposite direction, and I didn’t realize the turnaround was two lanes.

The beach thing…well that wasn’t my fault either. You see, there was this big drop off from the road and the erosion from recent storms made the entrance almost impassable. And, the big metal thing that scraped the bottom of the car? Well, there were no fluids leaking from the car after driving across it. Everything was fine.

**For the record, I offered the copilot the opportunity to explain about my driving from his perspective, he declined.